There was one major event that took place at the beginning of March that all of our students and I had been looking forward to for an entire year: our student Chovey got married!
If you have been following our organization’s activities for a little while, you might be aware of the fact that we have been supporting Chovey through a variety of things: from covering the tuition for her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees to enrolling her in an English language school program to receive an official language proficiency certificate and IELTS score, to assisting her in writing a resume and sending out job applications, to the donation of a moto to navigate through Cambodia’s capital Phnom Penh. Throughout the years, we have truly had a major impact on her life and continue to be part of her journey to ensure that she can fully focus on building a great future for herself.
Chovey grew up in an orphanage in rural Kampot, which is where I met her twelve years ago when I volunteered for that organization. While she did grow up without parental figures, Chovey still has some remaining relatives that she keeps close relationships with. In order to prevent her from becoming the sole provider for all of her extended family upon university graduation, given that she is the only one who had a chance at higher education, we also included several of her relatives in our organization. We have been supporting Chovey’s uncle Pha and her three cousins Lihour, Lisah, and Minea through monthly food donations as well as the distribution of school supplies and the coverage of medical bills, amongst other things. We enrolled her sister Dina, who is a single mother, in Cosmetology trade school, provided her with a moto to commute to and from work, and have been covering all education- and health-related expenses for her niece Zana. On top of that, we started supporting Chovey’s now-husband Chet’s younger brother Neath last year, when he registered in trade school to get a degree in Air Conditioning. By ensuring that Chovey’s circle receives education, we hope to alleviate a lot of pressure from her shoulders and prevent future periods of hardship.
Chovey and I have grown incredibly close since 2014 and truly have a brother-sister relationship, that could not be tighter. It was very important for her to introduce her then-boyfriend Chet to me four years ago and to hear my opinion about him immediately after. I was one of the first people to find out about her wedding plans, and she patiently waited for her Master’s Degree graduation before starting to plan the event – about which we will share a blog post soon.
Therefore, it wasn’t even up for debate whether or not I would accept the invitation and attend Chet’s and her wedding and I really pulled all the stops to get 2,5 weeks off of my Austrian job to plan an entire trip around the wedding.
Given that Chovey grew up in the orphanage that I used to volunteer for, and that the majority of our students and beneficiaries either grew up there as well or lived in the immediate neighborhood in rural Cambodia, Chovey’s wedding did not only serve as a wonderful celebration of love for the wedding couple but also as a huge reunion for a lot of familiar faces.
The wedding took place over a span of 1,5 days and the itinerary included various customs and rituals, symbolic of the couple’s journey as they enter their new life together, leading up to a big dinner and dance party on the second night. These weddings vary in size and length and tend to be a fairly costly affair, as it is considered the most important celebration in anyone’s life. Hundreds of guests are invited and the guestlist includes all neighbors, coworkers, and the general community of the local village, besides family and friends. The longer the guestlist the better, as each and every guest pays money for attending the event, and the wedding couple hopes to break even with the expenses and money gifts. These Khmer weddings look incredibly beautiful, as companies are hired to set up a wedding tent with lavish decorations, plastic flower walls, beautiful rugs, a plastic chandelier, and dinner tables in an empty rice field.
This all serves as a beautiful backdrop, but don’t let the beautiful pictures fool you – dirt roads and piles of trash are always just barely out of frame. A group of musicians is hired to play traditional Khmer ceremonial music during the rituals, and two presenters lead the party through the itinerary by facilitating the ceremony, sharing Cambodian stories, and entertaining the crowd with funny anecdotes and jokes between each ritual. In the meantime, another team sets up a small kitchen behind the wedding tent to cook Cambodian meals for the guests, and on the second night, a small stage is set up with live music and dancers before a DJ takes over to close the party off.
The wedding couple and guests are dressed in beautiful attire, all of which come from a clothing rental for a very low price. This, however, is the exact reason why everyone cherishes these weddings so much – because it is one night out of the year in which they all get to dress up, feel beautiful, and take wonderful photos in front of a beautiful flower wall which will serve as fond memories forever.
The wedding kicked off on Friday afternoon with rituals like Bang Chhat Madaiy, in which the wedding couple holds an umbrella over their parents – or chosen parent figures in this case – to symbolize them reciprocating the protection that they received in their childhood, and Soat Mun, which is a small ceremony to receive the blessings of Buddhist monks.
On Saturday morning, we kicked things off with Hai Goan Gomlom. This small tradition is the groom’s procession and serves as a symbolic introduction of both families, as the groom’s family comes to visit the bride’s family bearing gifts. Nowadays, not only the groom’s family, but all guests in attendance line up in front of the wedding tent carrying a gift platter that holds gifts in the form of fruit, vegetables, or drinks. The entire parade marches up to the wedding tent, symbolic of the bride’s house, and asks for permission to enter.
The next steps of the itinerary included the bride’s and groom’s ring exchange, as well as customs like Kat Sah, the haircutting ceremony, which symbolizes the wedding couple leaving behind their past, and Sompeas Ptem, the knot-tying ceremony, in which family members and wedding guests take turns in tying a string around the bride’s and groom’s wrists, representing everlasting love and the joining together of two life journeys becoming one.
Once all the traditional rituals were over, everyone prepared for the big night ahead: the party. Saturday evening is when most guests arrived to congratulate the newlyweds, take beautiful photos, enjoy delicious Khmer dinner, and dance to the live music that was being played on the stage that was set up. It was truly a great occasion for all of our students and beneficiaries to escape the stress and forget the challenges that they have to face in their everyday lives to spend a beautiful night with their peers, exchanging stories and experiences, telling jokes, dancing together, and strengthening our relationships.
Getting to experience this celebration of love not only with Chovey and Chet, but also with so many of our CYS students and beneficiaries, on top of many other friends that I’ve made throughout the past twelve years in rural Cambodia, was truly a blessing and a privilege. It was truly a weekend that will remain in everyone’s memories forever as a beautiful party that we all enjoyed together as the found family that we are and one that we will cherish for many years to come.
Note: apart from one specific individual who wished to support Chovey through a donation to this wedding, no donations were used for this event